I remember seeing an article in the Arab News while I was living in Saudi. "How to be a Successful Wife." It reminded me of the Good Housekeeping article from 1955. Hopefully the pic to the left isn't too small. If it is, go here for a bigger version.
10 Tips on How to be a Successful Wife
Published on November 30, 2009, 10:03 AM
10. Use your 'Fitnah' to win the heart of your husband
All women have the ornaments that Allah blessed them with. Use the beauty Allah - Azza wa Jal - has bestowed you with to win the heart of your husband.
9. When your husband comes home, greet him with a wonderful greeting
Imagine your husband coming home to a clean house, an exquisitely dressed wife, a dinner prepared with care, children clean and sweet smelling, a clean bedroom - what would this do to his love for you? Now imagine what the opposite does to him.
8. Review the characteristics of the Hoor Al-Ayn and try to imitate them
The Qur'an and Sunnah describe the women in Jannah with certain characteristics. Such as the silk they wear, their large dark eyes, their singing to their husband, etc. Try it, wear silk for your husband, put Kohl in your eyes to 'enlarge' them, and sing to your husband.
7. Always wear jewelry and dress up in the house.
From the early years, little girls have adorned themselves with earrings and bracelets and worn pretty dresses - as described in the Qur'an. As a wife, continue to use the jewelry that you have and the pretty dresses for your husband.
6. Joke and play games with your husband.
A mans secret: they seek women who are light-hearted and have a sense of humor. As Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - told Jabir to marry someone who would make him laugh and he would make her laugh.
5. Thank your husband constantly for the nice things he does.
Then thank him again. This is one of the most important techniques, as the opposite is a characteristic of the women of hellfire.
4. An argument is a fire in the house.
Extinguish it with a simple 'I'm sorry' even if it is not your fault.
When you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Watch how sweetly an argument will end when you just say sincerely, "Look, I'm sorry. Let's be friends."
3. Always seek to please your husband, for he is your key to Jannah.
Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - taught us that any women who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her, shall enter Jannah. So .. please him.
2. Listen and Obey!
Obeying your husband is Fard [a must]! Your husband is the Ameer [head] of the household. Give him that right and respect.
1. Make Dua to Allah to make your marriage and relationship successful.
All good things are from Allah. Never forget to ask Allah ta'ala for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this Dunya and continues on - by the Mercy of Allah ta'ala - into Jannah.
10 Tips on How to Be a Successful Husband
Published on November 30, 2009,
1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time you went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that the Prophet (peace be upon him) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.
2. Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.
3. Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day -which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.
4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways the Prophet (Pbuh) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (R.A). It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.
5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when the Prophet (Pbuh) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even when he was fasting.
6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!
7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.
8. Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet (Pbuh) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah ( R.A ) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.
9. Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how the Prophet (Pbuh) would race with his wife Aisha (R.A) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?
10. Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger (Pbuh): "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best!
