Ikea Hack: An Easter Sunday Project

It's been a while since I posted anything here.  Since everything is closed today, thus, destroying my spontaneous plan (is there such a thing?) to buy an Apple TV so that I might watch the Capitals on the big screen this evening, I decided to 1) take care of a long-planned-but-always-on-the-back-burner-opportunity-to-play-with-power-tools project and 2) to share the results, as apparently, there's an entire community of Ikea Hackers out there who do similar things with MDF.

Below is my effort to make better use of the Expedit bookshelf we've been using as storage for our wine, scotch, vodka, and various accoutrements that accompany any respectable home bar.  If you've not seen an Expedit bookshelf home bar, this is what I mean by storage (and accoutrements.  ahem...notice the Golf Channel AmTour trophy on the upper shelf).  

I'm not a carpenter.  My hands are pretty office-like, especially as it's been a while since I've been to the gym.  But I'm willing to give most things a try, especially when the parts for the project cost $1.99.  So, my first attempt was pretty rough.  Luckily, I bought two Laiva shelves, just in case.  That, and my original plan had been to do something like this, so I needed two shelves.  The tagline for that video reads: "Proudly display your wine collection and your woodworking prowess with this custom wine console."

See above re: my carpentry skills, so I quickly abandoned any thought of showing off my woodworking prowess.  That, and I saw something in the background of a property on HGTV this week and thought, "that would be so much easier."  I love The Property Brothers.

To be clear:  this wasn't anything that Jonathan actually showed on the program.  I take full credit (or responsibility, should the wine bottles ever break) for recognizing that I had all the necessary materials, tools, and ability-to-use-the-internet-to-figure-out-how-to-execute the plan.

Again, my first attempt was rough.   I don't have a miter saw, but I'd seen a DIY video (how did men get done any honey-do projects before the advent of the internet?) outlining how to use a circular saw instead.  After fumbling around (and I do mean fumbling.  As in "I swear a part fell off this saw last summer.  It's gotta be important for this project.  Good thing I picked up the part when it fell off.  Now where did I put that thing?") with my not-even-close-to-professional-grade Ryobi, I figured out a way to set the angle at 45 degrees AND use the square guide to make a straight cut.  The latter I did without YouTube.  How's that for woodworking prowess?

I measured twice (18 5/8" from corner-to-corner), cut once.  It worked.  Sort of.  The shelf fit loosely into the Expedit box, and you'll notice it's not exactly square (admittedly, I didn't use the square guide on the first cut.  I blame the laser from the Ryobi.  If it were professional grade, the saw would follow that laser, right?).  But it works far better than the cardboard box that had been storing what's left of the case of the Abundance Syrah that has become our go-to "we like it, it tastes/looks like it costs more than three-buck-Chuck (which it does), so we can bring it to dinner parties or drink it at home" wine.  

I wish I could say that I'd paid close attention to just how poorly I'd executed the plan and went through the entire measuring process again.  But, instead, I just used the same measurements and immediately cut the second shelf.  This time, though, I used the square guide instead of the laser.  Much better results.

This shelf fit more tightly.  No need for wood glue, nails, or screws.  I had to force it in (notice the AmTour trophy - now on the lower shelf - didn't fall, though I probably should have taken the more fragile glasswear and 18-year Jefferson bourbon off the top shelf before pounding the shelf into place). So I put it at the top of the shelf, thinking that the better effort should be put at eye level.

If I go back to Ikea, maybe I'll spend another $1.99 and fix the bottom shelf.  But for now, the two shelves I bought/cut mean our Expedit bar shelf has room for two cases of wine.

One project now complete, my to-do list is shorter, and I've developed new skills with the circular saw that, should I tackle something bigger, will mean I can avoid a surprise visit from Bryan.  Kimberly, that dude better not show up at our house...

An open letter to Arlington County Republicans

I sent an email to a list of about ten volunteers to the Arlington County Republican Committee. As the new precinct captain. I thought it was time I stepped up and did a little more than post my thoughts on facebook. Based on the election results in my home district, there's a lot that needs to be done. Here's what I sent. Please forward to like minded folks in the Arlington area.

Despite the best efforts of some very dedicated candidates, the efforts to elect Patrick Murray and Mark Kelly to Congress and the County Board, respectively, fell short. Significantly short.

Rather than continue to gaze at our collective navels and wonder how Arlington can remain such a deep blue county, I'm challenging each of you to become more active in the next two years. Now, as always, Republican candidates need our support if we're to take the progress made by Colonel Murray and Mr. Kelly to the next level.

As you've all volunteered with the Arlington County Republicans at various times, I'm reaching out to ask for your assistance. I would very much like to see a Republican win the Precinct 1 vote in 2012. So I volunteered to be the new Precinct 1 captain and will push to reach that goal.

I know it's an uphill battle. At best, the Republican candidate won 35% of the vote last week. At worst, the Democrat won 57%. In our precinct, numbers were even more daunting. We won 27%. Obviously, there is work to be done. But if you haven't already seen it, please take a few minutes to read this article from the Sun Gazette.

So You're Saying There's a Chance...

Next year represents a fantastic opportunity to take a step towards 2012. And it gives the Republicans a possible foothold into Arlington and Virginia government. Virginia District 49 is in play - so the opportunity to unseat Adam Ebbin (who won 100% of the vote in 2009 and hasn't faced an opponent from the Republican Party. Ever. Have we really given up that much hope???)

I hope you will join me, then, in reaching out to your neighbors and friends. There is much that can be done in this area, and I'm hopeful I can count on your help in the coming year. I will keep everyone informed on opportunities to help grow the Republican message and, if you're amenable, hope to meet with each of you in the coming months. In the interim, please don't hesitate to contact me with ideas (or complaints) of how we might make Arlington county a bit more red in 2011.

Decision 2010 - Why I'm voting for Patrick Murray

First, it's wonderful to be back in the US. Second, apologies for not writing more. Time got away from me in Abu Dhabi. Ground Hog Day in the desert has a way of doing that. Now back in Arlington, I'm greatly enjoying the Fall - the colors, the crisp football season air, and the rain. Yes. Even the rain. But I love the sunny, Indian Summer days even more.

I remember one such day in 2008. Warm enough to be in short sleeves I wore my

t-shirt.

In Washington, DC. In Logan Circle. Short of the roundabout in Dupont or San Francisco, I'm not sure I can name a more liberal location on the planet. The wait staff at the restaurant didn't want to serve Kimberly and me. People threw nasty stares in my general direction. And one girl thought she was funny: "Are you serious?" she asked, as she walked by.

"Yes, I am. I suppose you're voting for the other guy."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because he's not George Bush."

I asked for another reason. She couldn't give me one. Like most of the electorate in the US, this clueless liberal had no idea why she was really voting for the guy for whom she planned to vote.

I don't know why I thought about this today. Maybe it's because a few too many of my liberal friends would vote for Chris Coons merely because he's not Christine O'Donnell. The media has given him a pass for his inability to recite the five freedoms afforded us by the First Amendment, yet they've jumped all over O'Donnell for her refusal to accept that "the separation of church and state," while not actually mentioned by name in the Constitution, is pretty much what the founders had in mind with the "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion..."

Or maybe it's because of Harry Reid and his bumbling answer regarding pink, uh...uh...football helmets, or Gwen Ifill's inability to remember other important dates in US political history.

Whatever the reason, I decided I'd tell y'all why I'm voting for Patrick Murray on 2 November. It's not just because he's "not Jim Moran." Here are four reasons why I'm voting for Colonel Murray.

1) He served 24 years in the US Army and retired last November. I only served my country for 9 1/2 years. And it wasn't nearly enough. Colonel Murray sacrificed his life for 24 years for the freedom to vote "for the other guy." That Jim Moran doesn't consider that service is appalling. Now Colonel Murray wants to continue his service as a United States Congressman. Because for him, 24 years of service to the USA wasn't enough. I respect that.

2) I agree with his stance on taxes (leave ALL taxes at the 2003 rate for at least another six years AND drop the corporate tax rate). The top 5% of this country already pays 58.7% of the country's income tax, and Obama and Moran want them to pay more? "But what about the $700 billion we could use to pay down the deficit if we taxed them more?" you ask. What about the $3 trillion you don't mind paying to make sure the other guy gets his "fair" shake? That, and as my friend Timothy Lee is wont to note, those tax rates resulted in the largest increase to the federal coffers in history. To be sure, much of that is because of the booming economy during the middle four years of the Bush presidency, but it was a record revenue, nevertheless.

Murray's main point here - that raising taxes during a recession (or "jobless" recovery), on anyone, is a mistake. And re: the corporate tax. Check out the article in yesterday's WSJ. There's a way to get increased revenue, increased investment, and with it, increased jobs. That's good politics.

3) He's not afraid to call a spade a spade. We are at war with Islamic extremists. We're not at war with Islam. But nor are we merely at war with Eric Holder's "there are a number of reasons for..." extremists. 24 years in the Army contribute to his strong national security credentials, and he's got the right attitude on Iran (Obama has been entirely too passive in addressing this issue) and he supports our strongest and longest-lasting ally in the Middle East (Israel).

4) He's not Jim Moran. Sorry...couldn't resist. I'm no fan of term limits as I think that we, as an electorate, should hold the power to hire and fire whomever we choose. If there's someone doing a splendid job, that person shouldn't be canned just because he or she has served ... insert term limit here ... years.

However, I find it absolutely amazing that with approval ratings in the 20s that anyone, anywhere, actually believes his or her congressman is doing a good job. Especially Jim Moran. He's obviously playing the "pay to play" game, he thinks it's OK to redistribute...er...blatantly steal...from one person's pocket to give to another, and he spent $175k of my tax dollars on a fancy shmancy flyer to brag about what he'd done for VA House District 8. But he couldn't even find a Virginia business in VA House District 8 to print his obvious campaign propaganda?

So, I'm voting for Patrick Murray on 2 November. I've volunteered for his campaign, made a few calls, and have a Veterans for Murray sign in my front window. Because, yes, I'm serious...

Somewhere in the middle: Offering Israel a practical solution to its flotilla nightmare

In 2003, Fox News covered what was one of many in a series of ceasefires between the US military and opposing forces in Iraq. Also covered by Al Jazeera, fighting lingered in Ar Ramadi, despite the officially announced ceasefire. On Fox: “Despite the announcement, the opposing troops are violating the ceasefire and continue to fire on the Americans, who are responding in-kind, fighting while returning to their bases.” On Al Jazeera: “The Americans continue shooting, in violation of the ceasefire, and are retreating in the face of retaliatory fire.”

The same story, covered by two different news organizations with substantially different audiences, meant that the truth, then, was probably somewhere in the middle.

Fast forward seven years.

FREEDOM ATTACKED shouted the Dubai-based Gulf News, its front page not surprisingly covering the 31 May 2010 Freedom Flotilla showdown. The National, an Abu Dhabi based paper, similarly decried that the “World unites to condemn Israel for attack on Gaza aid convoy.” The Israeli brutes shot unarmed civilians seeking only to deliver much needed aid to a people starved of even the most basic items.

The Arab world considers the Israeli effort another in a continuing violation of human right and international law. The people are starving, unemployed, and Israel continues to resort to repressive force to ensure that the 80 percent of Palestinians continue to live in Gaza with less than $1 a day.

The Wall Street Journal noted the “Flotilla Assault off Gaza Spurs Crisis.” Halfway down the page, it showed video images released by Israel of “a close-up account of troops rappelling down to the deck of one of the vessels on flotilla and coming under repeated attack.” The peaceniks on the Mavi Marmara, seeking to provide crayons to the children of Gaza, must have missed the “non-violent” protest class as they hit the fast-roping soldiers with metal poles, chairs, and knives. The IDF troops simply fired back in self-defense.

Israel and its allies, disheartened by the need for force, refused to allow an unchecked shipment into the terrorist haven that is the Gaza Strip. The same concrete that builds homes can also build shelter for Hamas militants who continue to fire mortar rounds into Israel, killing women and children. And would Saudi Arabia allow a shipload of Bibles or Torahs into its underserved Christian or Jewish minorities? Then why should the Israelis have to allow crayons to children in Gaza?

The same event reported in completely disparate accounts. Like in 2003, the truth, then, must be somewhere in the middle.

Even a disinterested observer (if there is such a thing) looks at the above through an optic of self-interest. The media, which likes to consider itself that disinterested observer, however, no longer reports just the facts. The media, like the world on which it reports, is polarized (and polarizing). In the US, Fox News/WSJ are conservative mouthpieces for the Republican Party, despite protestations to the contrary. MSNBC/NYT sit firmly, and liberally, on the other side of the aisle. And the Arab press? They won’t even admit that the Egyptians are enforcing the blockade of the Gaza Strip with as much gusto as their Israeli neighbors. That The National would report something positive about Israel is about as likely as Keith Olbermann or Rachel Maddow giving honest kudos to Sarah Palin. The media is now in the Public Relations business and uses language – however subtly – to advance a cause.

Israel has most assuredly lost this particular PR battle. And the pro-Palestine camp knows it (as they ramp up for another two-ship flotilla). Faced with a no-win situation, Israel had to choose between either humiliation – letting a weaker enemy through its maritime boarders – or to use force to turn back that same weaker enemy. It used force. But rather than sit back and allow the anti-Israel stories to propagate, the Jewish state could utilize that same PR mouthpiece – the mass media – to win back the momentum. Israel now has an excellent opportunity to show the world that it allows honest humanitarian goods through to the Gaza Strip (as it has continued to allow since the blockade began).

Assuming the flotilla still sits in Israeli ports, Israel should immediately invite international (including those from the Arab world) news organizations to watch as it unloads the humanitarian aid from those ships, escorts it into Gaza, and delivers it to the school children sitting in those bombed out schools. Oh, and it might help if somebody released a manifest of what was on board to help disavow any conspiracy theories that might follow (Israel ‘planted’ those dual use materials on the motorized wheelchairs; Israel ‘stole’ the medicines and didn’t let them through; etc.).

The world is watching. If Israel can use the media for what it is, however, it can gain back the upper hand of the PR war. A war, to be sure, that will continue…

Because seriously, who wants to read a newspaper story that states: “There was a ceasefire. Both sides continued fighting as they pulled back from the front lines of the fight.”

In 2010, I’ll try anyway for those of you who, because you’re living under a rock, might not have heard.

The numbers vary, but on 31 May 2010, at least 9 people died following the early morning commando raid by Israeli Defense Forces (IDF) on the Mavi Marmara, one of six ships in a flotilla organized by the Humanitarian Relief Foundation, a Turkish based charity seeking to deliver 10,000 tons of construction material, medical equipment, and school supplies to the Gaza Strip, currently isolated by an Israeli/Egyptian blockade. Despite Israeli offers to escort the aid into the Gaza Strip, albeit after a thorough inspection at Israeli ports, the flotilla was unwavering. It announced it would ignore any Israeli blockade and deliver the goods directly to ports in Gaza. Posturing continued, and when the flotilla neared Israeli territorial waters, the Israeli ships made good on their promise – they wouldn’t let the flotilla reach port in Gaza. The IDF intercepted the flotilla, and failing to turn it back, boarded the ships. During boarding, IDF forces met no resistance on five of six ships. Those on board the sixth resisted with violence, and the IDF fired, killing civilians. No one is certain who fired the first shot, though at least one of the IDF troops lost control of his weapon to a peace activist.

UFC 112

So, I've now been to 10 live UFC events. Starting with UFC 54 in 2005, I've hit at least one every year since. For those of you who haven't seen one, think it an unregulated blood sport filled with gladiators and mindless fans, you're missing out. To be sure, there's usually some blood. And there are definitely a few mindless fans (especially at Vegas events. If for people watching alone, the entertainment value of the fans is worth the ever increasing cost of admission). And, yes, the intro to the PPV (and at the fight) shows a few Russell Crowe-Gladiator like clips. Because there's a gladiator element to it. Go to one. Understand why the Romans liked to attend events at the Colesium. I promise. You'll get it.

Last night I took Kimberly to her first (she said something about "you're screwed. Now you have to take me to these whenever you go." She had a great time. Even after I almost knocked her out of her seat when the UFC music started. I tried to explain, "what? This is what the boys and and I do every time this music plays." Man, I love that girl!).

UFC 112. Live from Yas Island, Abu Dhabi. The UFC pulled off the first outdoor event. The Abu Dhabi fans were pretty knowledgeable. And the stadium was sold out (though the seats were incredibly uncomfortable, the beer/food service was painfully slow, and the bathrooms weren't set up to handle the number of people at the fight). The atmosphere was pretty good. Standard drunken idiots in the crowd (especially given that Abu Dhabi is largely filled with British expats) meant for some pretty loud and obnoxious yelling. But, again, we've been to a number of these fights. And for a co-main event, with 2 of the sport's best fighters on the card, it should have been way more electric.

That's about the only positive thing I can say about the fight. This guy agrees with me. The below is the rest of my commentary on the fights. If you've not watched a UFC, some of my comments might create some confusion. Others...well, they're pretty straight forward.

I've seen some poor fights, to be sure. Generally heavy weights who are too scared of the fight ending punching power that comes on the other end of a 240lbs dude with no ground game.

But the fights last night were an absolute disgrace. BJ Penn didn't win. But he certainly didn't lose. And since it was his belt (he was the lightweight champion), Frank Edgar had to do a whole lot more than get 2 take downs over 5 rounds. One judge scored it 50-45? Please. Not even close.

Matt Hughes/Renzo Gracie was a complete joke. Obviously Hughes is way past his prime, but Randy Couture, who's 2 years older than even Renzo, knows how to finish a fight. Helping up the other fighter in the BJJ training gym is one thing. It's not something a warrior in the Octagon should be doing.

And Anderson Silva? WTF is that dude's problem?! Demian Maia clearly had no answer to Silva's stand up game. But after the 2nd round, Silva didn't even try to finish the fight. After the Silva fight, we couldn't even hear Joe Rogan try to do the interview. People were streaming out of the arena after the 4th round. The 4th round! People were pissed.

Guys in the office think Abu Dhabi (Flash Entertainment, a UAE government owned entity bought 10% of UFC a few months ago) tried to 'fix' the fights. Wouldn't surprise me, given that all 3 'main' events went the distance when they really shouldn't have. Hughes should have finished off Gracie much earlier than 4:00 into the 3rd round. Penn? Whatever. He didn't have the eye of the tiger or whatever. But Silva could have absolutely punished Maia in round 2 or 3 and saved something of his fan base. There is no reason that all 3 of those fights should have lasted as long as they did.

End of the day, there were 6 fighters who were too scared to lose. Nobody wanted to win. And that's just not the UFC.

The only coverage it got in the sports section of one of the news rags here - the only coverage - was of a preliminary bout. Sure, it might have been necessary due to press deadlines, but if coverage of one of three main events on what is supposed to be a marquis event, bringing the sport to a BJJ-friendly, wealthy population, is replaced by an undercard event, the only fight of the evening that was actually a fight (Kelly -v- Veach. Veach refused to quit, despite being massively bloody and getting his ass handed to him. He kept going, like a true octagon warrior is supposed to), you know the UFC failed massively.

I did, however, especially enjoy watching Kendall Grove get his ass kicked after Mark Munoz survived the 1st round.

Otherwise, unless Dana White gets his fighters' acts together, I won't be going back to another UFC any time soon (and not likely ever to another one in Abu Dhabi).

No pictures of the event. It's not worth encouraging the UFC with my art. So, if you want pictures, go here instead.

Not Ready for Prime Time

Over the past six months (sometimes, it’s seemed much longer. At others, it feels like we’ve just arrived), I’ve let slide the little things that serve as a constant reminder that the UAE is still a developing country. Mostly, I give Abu Dhabi (and its glitzier cousin, Dubai) a lot of slack because…well…it’s not Saudi. And that says a lot.



For the most part, life is pretty good. Kimberly can drive, wear conservative, yet professional attire. And she can work. None of those options would have been available to her in Jeddah.



Bars are numerous (if filled with sloppy drunk expats and questionably talented cover bands), and there’s a church. Again, none of that was available in Saudi (with the exception of the sloppy drunk expats. It’s just they had to do it on Sid, rather than vodka).



So, when it took 3 weeks to get a car loan, I wasn’t all that bothered. There was the nonsense about the Burj Dubai…er…Khalifa…when it didn’t have the capability to sell tickets online or by phone (instead, forcing people to travel to Dubai first, then wait for at least three days to get the 100aed tickets to get to the top), but I didn’t really complain. And, when they shut it down less than a month after opening because, strangely, the electrical work wasn’t prepared to handle the demand, I simply shrugged my shoulders.



And, of course, thanked the God that I wasn’t either in the elevator or on the Observation Deck waiting for a ride down.



Then came UFC…



I went to my first Ultimate Fighting Championship in 2005. I wasn’t sure I’d like it, had never watch it on TV (and was somewhat scared by the no-holds-barred fighter that had been a student in a college class I TA’d), but went because my best friend wanted to go. And it was his bachelor party.



Some of the fights blur together, but, after a cursory count, I’m fairly certain I’ve now been to 8 or 9 events. They. Are. Awesome. I’ve purchased a few Pay-Per-View events, as well, but those aren’t as entertaining.



Abu Dhabi has a little money. Something about oil and gas. And a slow/steady investment policy (that allowed them to buy the naming rights to Dubai’s crowning glory). There’s also a prince here who likes Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and the UFC. He decided to buy 10% of the company and convince Dana White to hold the first ever outdoor event. April 12. In Abu Dhabi.



Never mind the Vegas like prices (my buddy went to a fight in Germany and got floor seats for what we’re paying to sit in the nose bleed of the Ferrari World Stadium). Never mind that it’s probably going to be silly hot. And never mind that one of the two big fights lost one of the fighters. I had to take Kimberly to her first one.



UAE radio stations, newspapers, weekly magazines, and every other Google-is-way-too-into-my-business-advertisement told me I could buy my tickets at 12:01 am on 14 February.



I stayed up late, and at precisely 12:01, logged into www.boxofficeme.com.



At precisely 12:35, boxofficeme.com started working. Either 1) like the Burj elevator, the site wasn’t set up to handle the kind of traffic that was generated by starting the sales at 3 pm EST on a Saturday, or 2) the guy who was supposed to flip whatever IT switch is necessary to time such things was sleeping. Or smoking shisha. Because midnight isn’t one of the 5 requisite prayer times.



I’d been throwing things, yelling at the dog, swearing, and just generally re-living a few frustrating moments I’d had in Saudi. Poor Athena. Kimberly, though, was pretty much asleep and thankfully missed most of the cursing.



But, at 12:35, I let it slide. Because the virtual velvet rope had been lifted. And I was in.



I selected seats (sort of. Apparently, in the cheap seats, it’s going to be a free for all, so we’re not even guaranteed that we’ll be able to see around the sea of white man dresses), input my credit card, and waited.



Denied.



After calling my US card company to make sure the problem wasn’t on their end, I tried again. And again. And again.



Denied, denied, denied.



I tried calling the boxofficeme telephone number numerous times, hoping beyond hope that someone had thought, “hmmmm…we’re hosting a major international event, starting ticket sales in the middle of the afternoon in one of the key markets, and it’s the FIRST TIME EVER (Emiratis are keen on being the “first” or the “largest” or the “tallest” or the “whateverest gets us the most press and/or entries into Guiness) the UFC is coming to the UAE , maybe we should make sure the call center is prepared to take a few calls.”



Nope.



At 2 am, convinced that boxofficeme.com was somehow on the same electrical circuit as the Burj elevator, I went to bed.



I tried the next morning.



Denied.



I tried calling the next morning. At 8 am. 8:30. 9. 9:03. 9:15. 10. 10:30. 11:08. I left a message on their answering machine, knowing fully well that nobody uses answering machines or voice mail over here. Nobody.



I looked at the website again. “Apart from buying tickets on this site, you can also purchase tickets from outlets at the following locations.”



I went to two of those locations in Abu Dhabi. One didn’t even exist. At the other, I met a very nice Filipina. “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t have those tickets.” So much for my lunch hour.



She did, however, give me a mobile number for another Filipina who worked for boxofficeme. Said Filipina, however, like everyone else in this country, won’t answer a phone call from a number she doesn’t recognize.



After convincing Abu Dhabi based Filipina to call Dubai based Filipina to tell her to accept my call (she didn’t want to let me use her phone to make the call. Whatever), I finally got through.



Do you have your credit card with you now, sir?” she asked. “Yes.” “Would you like me to put through an order by phone?” “Yes.” “OK, sir. Let me call you back.”



I’m still waiting for that call…



I’d given up on attending the event live and was planning the UFC party I would throw. Maybe, to steal a page from my DC friends, I’d build a bon fire, put up the TV outside, and party in the snow. Sand. Whatever.



Luckily, a Canadian friend kept trying, as well. And got tickets. So, Kimberly, three of my friends here, and I are going to UFC 112.



Let’s get it on.



And, Dana - if I might propose a substitute for Vitor, how ‘bout you throw the CEO of boxofficeme in the ring against Anderson Silva. For that, I might even spring the 3695 AED for floor seats.

I still get a kick out of this

I remember seeing an article in the Arab News while I was living in Saudi. "How to be a Successful Wife." It reminded me of the Good Housekeeping article from 1955. Hopefully the pic to the left isn't too small. If it is, go here for a bigger version.

I found the same article again this morning. It was published on an online site in November 2009.

I hadn't, however, seen the suggestions on how to be a good husband, so I've included those below, as well (my emphasis added, of course. I'm now rushing out the door to buy designer pajamas in anticipation of next weekend's camel race against Kimberly).

Happy New Year, everyone!

10 Tips on How to be a Successful Wife

Published on November 30, 2009, 10:03 AM

10. Use your 'Fitnah' to win the heart of your husband

All women have the ornaments that Allah blessed them with. Use the beauty Allah - Azza wa Jal - has bestowed you with to win the heart of your husband.

9. When your husband comes home, greet him with a wonderful greeting

Imagine your husband coming home to a clean house, an exquisitely dressed wife, a dinner prepared with care, children clean and sweet smelling, a clean bedroom - what would this do to his love for you? Now imagine what the opposite does to him.

8. Review the characteristics of the Hoor Al-Ayn and try to imitate them

The Qur'an and Sunnah describe the women in Jannah with certain characteristics. Such as the silk they wear, their large dark eyes, their singing to their husband, etc. Try it, wear silk for your husband, put Kohl in your eyes to 'enlarge' them, and sing to your husband.

7. Always wear jewelry and dress up in the house.

From the early years, little girls have adorned themselves with earrings and bracelets and worn pretty dresses - as described in the Qur'an. As a wife, continue to use the jewelry that you have and the pretty dresses for your husband.

6. Joke and play games with your husband.

A mans secret: they seek women who are light-hearted and have a sense of humor. As Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - told Jabir to marry someone who would make him laugh and he would make her laugh.

5. Thank your husband constantly for the nice things he does.

Then thank him again. This is one of the most important techniques, as the opposite is a characteristic of the women of hellfire.

4. An argument is a fire in the house.

Extinguish it with a simple 'I'm sorry' even if it is not your fault.

When you fight back, you are only adding wood to the fire. Watch how sweetly an argument will end when you just say sincerely, "Look, I'm sorry. Let's be friends."

3. Always seek to please your husband, for he is your key to Jannah.

Rasul Allah - sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam - taught us that any women who dies in a state where her husband is pleased with her, shall enter Jannah. So .. please him.

2. Listen and Obey!

Obeying your husband is Fard [a must]! Your husband is the Ameer [head] of the household. Give him that right and respect.

1. Make Dua to Allah to make your marriage and relationship successful.

All good things are from Allah. Never forget to ask Allah ta'ala for the blessing of having a successful marriage that begins in this Dunya and continues on - by the Mercy of Allah ta'ala - into Jannah.

10 Tips on How to Be a Successful Husband

Published on November 30, 2009,

1. Dress up for your wife, look clean and smell good. When was the last time you went shopping for designer pajamas? Just like the husband wants his wife to look nice for him, she also wants her husband to dress up for her too. Remember that the Prophet (peace be upon him) would always start with Miswak when returning home and always loved the sweetest smells.

2. Use the best names for your wife. Call your wife by the most beloved names to her, and avoid using names that hurt their feelings.

3. Don’t treat her like a fly. We never think about a fly in our daily lives until it ‘bugs’ us. Similarly, a wife will do well all day -which brings no attention from the husband - until she does something to ‘bug’ him. Don’t treat her like this; recognize all the good that she does and focus on that.

4. If you see wrong from your wife, try being silent and do not comment! This is one of the ways the Prophet (Pbuh) used when he would see something inappropriate from his wives (R.A). It’s a technique that few Muslim men have mastered.

5. Smile at your wife whenever you see her and embrace her often. Smiling is Sadaqah and your wife is not exempt from the Muslim Ummah. Imagine life with her constantly seeing you smiling. Remember also those Ahadith when the Prophet (Pbuh) would kiss his wife before leaving for Salah, even when he was fasting.

6. Thank her for all that she does for you. Then thank her again! Take for example a dinner at your house. She makes the food, cleans the home, and a dozen other tasks to prepare. And sometimes the only acknowledgment she receives is that there needed to be more salt in the soup. Don’t let that be; thank her!

7. Ask her to write down the last ten things you did for her that made her happy. Then go and do them again. It may be hard to recognize what gives your wife pleasure. You don’t have to play a guessing game, ask her and work on repeating those times in your life.

8. Don’t belittle her desires. Comfort her. Sometimes the men may look down upon the requests of their wives. The Prophet (Pbuh) set the example for us in an incident when Safiyyah ( R.A ) was crying because, as she said, he had put her on a slow camel. He wiped her tears, comforted her, and brought her the camel.

9. Be humorous and play games with your wife. Look at how the Prophet (Pbuh) would race with his wife Aisha (R.A) in the desert. When was the last time we did something like that?

10. Always remember the words of Allah’s Messenger (Pbuh): "The best of you are those who treat their families the best. And I am the best amongst you to my family.” Try to be the best!